As mothers we often fell like our dreams are forgotten, but they are not forgotten they are only buried treasures.
Daughters ages 15 & 14
"In the beginning , sometimes I felt like a failure because I had done all of these amazing things, just as a woman on my own. Where did all of these amazing things go? I didn't understand in the beginning that it was ok to just focus on my girls and be a mom for that time. I was still trying to chase what I was before -Kala
We all have dreams and aspirations. From the time we are little girls we dream of who we want to be, what we want to do, and how we will make our mark on the world. For some this takes a lifetime to figure out. For Kala her path was set from the very beginning. Kala learned that when she became a mother some dreams would just have to wait.
Welcome to her Kweendom.
Hello Beau2ful's Philosophy is, "Who we are as a daughter, influences who we are as a woman, and impacts who we are as a mother. I call this cycle our Kweendom. Tell me about your Kweendom.
My relationship with my mother growing up was really great. Thankfully, I grew up with both my parents. My dad was a tennis player so he was on the tennis court a lot. So it was just me and my mom spending a lot of time together. We spent a lot of one on one time just talking. She always encouraged me as a child, as a teenager, and as a woman to do whatever I wanted to do. My gifts and talents are treasures and whatever dreams I had she encouraged me to do them. For instance, I went to Freedom Theater growing up because I always wanted to be an actor. One day my mother met Sonia Sanchez, a very famous poet from Philadelphia. My mom said to her " you know, my daughter likes to do poetry and likes to, you know, to act, where can she go?" Sonia Sanchez said Freedom Theater, so my mom enrolled me in Freedom. In the eighth grade we had a "work week" at school. So my mother asked me where I wanted to work, and I always wanted to be a wanted to be a radio personality too so I I said... " I want to work at the radio station!" So she called the radio station on my behalf and Lorraine Ballard Morrill let me come to Power 99! My mother just always encouraged me , and now I am a radio personality with my husband Juan, #ThoseBaxtersInTheMorning ,and an actor! It's like all the dreams I had... (pause)... WOW.. all the dreams (pause ... Kala is crying and now I am too)... my mom is still here so I don't know why I am crying (LOL)... but all the dreams I had my mom always encouraged me and they ended up coming true.
My mother even encouraged me and believed in me when I failed. So before I went to Temple University, I went to Millersville University. I couldn't wait to get to college and I couldn't wait to go to all of the parties. (LOL) When I got there, I did just that... I went to all the parties and I failed out my freshman year. My mother and father both made me come back home, but my father was kind of like, "oh, well, she didn't do well in college." But my mother was like, "No, you're going to college!" She made a lot of phone calls and Temple University had this program called Continuing Ed. In this program you could take college classes and if you could get at least a C, you could apply to be a student. So I had to do my whole freshman year over! My mother was like... "You have to move back home and you can only go out once a week." I was so mad! I was like... once a week is horrible! (LOL) But I'm so thankful that she did that. I graduated, I got my Masters, and I have credits toward my Doctorate. Even though I was mad at the beginning, I was thankful that she believed in me enough to give me a second chance. I had many other friends that failed out of college and their parents treated them like a failure. My mother never treated me like a failure and that made all the difference. It makes a difference to not only believe in yourself, but to have people who believe in you! My mother believed in me and still does. (Pause) WOW! ... I have to tell her all of this.
Looking back so much of success is connected to my mother and my faith in God. After graduate school in Arizona, I was the go to Black Actress in Regional Theater here in Philadelphia. But one day its like I woke up and I didn't have a show for two years. I was like... Lord what am I going to do. God gave me the idea to go Arizona and create a Black History Month show. I knew Black History Month was coming up and I knew Arizona was one of the last states to make MLK Day a holiday... so you know at the time no one was doing anything for Black History Month in Arizona! I had frequent flyer miles so I took a leap of faith. I was staying with a friend and I created flyers that said "Kala M. comes to Arizona with her Black History Month Show." I didn't even have a show yet! (LOL) I went to an event and a news reporter got one of my flyers and did a front page article on me. I had sold out shows before I even had the show finalized! (LOL) When I came back home I did the show here. But I couldn't do a Black History Month Show all the time. That's where my mother came in again. My mother was a preschool teacher and I use to go to her job and put on little plays for the students. That morphed into a whole business I created. I performed for preschoolers around the city teaching them the skills they needed to learn. I realized that what I was teaching, I could also train the teachers how to teach these skills. I took another leap of faith, dubbed myself a theater and education specialist and starting doing that business as well. I have so many stories of faith like this, where God would give me an idea, my mother encouraged me, and I would just leap. I worked as a theater and education specialist for years. I would get flown out for conferences to speak in front of hundreds of people. It was very successful. Then I became a mom. And all of a sudden all those amazing things kind of went away for a while.
I always wanted 2 little girls who were friends and would love each other and laugh together. I am so thankful that God blessed me with my girls. It was very important to me to be the type of mom that was always there. My mom was that for me, she went to the trips, she volunteered at the school, you know, and I wanted to be that involved mom. Thankfully I was able to be there for my girls. But in the beginning , sometimes I felt like a failure because I had done all of these amazing things, just as a woman on my own. Where did all of these amazing things go? I didn't understand in the beginning that it was ok to just focus on my girls and be a mom for that time. When my girls were young I would still do a little acting here and there, but that would be a 3 month commitment. I am so grateful for my supportive husband Juan for stepping in during those times. I think I was still trying to chase what I was before, and I think we have to understand as women that our roles change. Now my girls are older, and God recently reminded me that now it's time to do all those amazing things again and pick up where I left off. One day I heard God say "It's time to dig up your buried treasure." Like I HEARD him, say it, I had tears in my eyes, and all that good stuff! (LOL) So Praise God, now I am digging up my buried treasure, and taking those leaps.
What is your favorite thing about having daughters?
Spending time with them. I love seeing them laugh together and seeing their beautiful smiles. I also love seeing them embrace their beauty and care for themselves.
Love is an action word. In what ways have you shown your daughter/s she is loved and how she should be loved?
I love my girls by encouraging them, talking with them, holding them, and supporting them in what they love to do. I teach my girls that a real friend loves them and treats them like they care about them. This goes for friendships and future love. It is important that a future boyfriend or husband is your friend first and loves and cares for you like a valued friend. I tell them that they are wonderful and when they grow up they are going to be wonderful women. They also know that people can only do to you what you allow them to. Thats a quote from my Grandmother Adelle Murray.
Life often throws us lemons if you had to share one life lesson with your daughter/s what would it be?
Things won’t always go your way and when things don’t go the way you wanted them to, don’t give up. Ask God what you need to Learn, LISTEN, then Leap.
Kbeau2ful's Final Thoughts:
As women we often feel like we have lost our identities with the title of mother. We are so busy just trying to survive and cater to our loved ones that sometimes we forget to live. Our dreams may feel like they are forgotten. I know some of you may feel like you have lost yourselves , or feel like you are failing. Kala's story teaches us that our dreams, our talents, and our gifts are treasures. We don't ever lose them, we just bury them for a while. We bury them because our roles change, and our children become our treasures. When the time is right, God will let us know when we need to dig them back up. Until then enjoy this precious time with your children, listen for His voice, and when the time is right take the leap of faith to find yourself again. It is also on my heart to remind us that our mothers are treasures, we need to tell them how much they mean to us every single day, before it is time to bury them.
Check out Kala and Juan's Brand New Morning Show 11am (est) 8am (pst)