As mothers the greatest life lesson we can teach our children is how to pray.
Daughters ages 8 and 3
"Know your identity in Christ. Cleave boldly to it no matter the cost. It will spare you many pitfalls, confusion and regret. Many of the point decisions I made growing up was really because I didn't know my true identity. Not the one painted for me by society, but the God given sacred one given only by the Creator. What happened consequently, was compromised peer pressure grouping and a handful of trying on different identities." ~Hannah
As children, the lessons our mothers teach us will stay with us for life. Some lessons are taught through our mothers sharing their life experiences. Other lessons are taught by witnessing our mothers faith. Hannah learned her mother's unwavering faith in God would get her through life's toughest lessons.
Welcome to her Kweendom.
Hello Beau2ful's Philosophy is, "Who we are as a daughter, influences who we are as a woman, and impacts who we are as a mother. I call this cycle our Kweendom. Tell me about your Kweendom.
My mom and I have always been close. My mom had different struggles presented to her because she had to raise children alone. So she played the role of both mother and father in order to keep things intact and to keep us in check. She definitely had her work cut out for her. (LOL) Looking back I realized that my mom did the best that she could and she did everything that she could do within her power. She's old school, you know very traditional, and because of her culture, she was more on the strict side. Growing up I didn't necessarily always feel that my mom was an open book. I couldn't go to her with taboo topics, but my mom, I recall, from a very young age, always had very deep conversations with me. So I was able to open up to her on many, many levels. These conversations taught me valuable life lessons.
My mom is from the school of hard knocks so I learned a lot of hard core lessons early on. It really helped me survive REAL LIFE. You know, she wasn't your textbook mom. She didn't have all the the bells and whistles, the degrees, or those types of accomplishments. However, because she had gone through real life, she could sit down and talk to me about real life. She would talk to me about things to stay away from, or things to watch out for, and in essence, I believe it shielded me from a lot. It keep me grounded and leveled in a lot of ways. My mother would always say, "Wha sweet ya now will sour ya latah." ( In her panama accent) That always stuck with me. What she meant is... "What may be sweet now may actually taste sour later... in other words... The things you are doing might seem great now, but it could have lasting consequences that aren't great! Through that example and through the way that she raised me, it caused me to really think about a lot of the decisions that I made.
Another life lesson she taught me is to learn by watching. When I was younger, although I was sometimes silly, I had a very serious temperament. I've always been very observant, especially being the youngest of three children. You know some kids are hard headed, well I think we're all hard headed to a degree, but some kids they really won't learn not to mess with fire unless they get burned...that just wasn't me! I was always watching... and if I saw you fall in a ditch...I wouldn't even try to walk the same way. This lesson was really a guard for me in life. I learned to watch others and to really think through my actions. My mom always challenged me to think. She always challenged me to answer things slowly, not jump into things, and to be very cautious. I'm grateful for the times that I did apply that.
In the more serious instances in life nothing has helped me more that the spiritual lessons my mother taught me. My mother taught me the necessity and the power of prayer. There was never a time in my life that I didn't see my mother praying. There was always that consistency of seeing my mom on her knees, crying out to God, interceding on behalf of her children, and praying for whatever was going on around her. I remember even being asleep but I could feel my mom in the next room, praying and interceding when there was a spiritual warfare just starting, before the Lord. Growing up we knew early in the morning, not to talk to my mom until she first finished praying. God came before anything else. It was never to a point where it was like a detriment to us, I just think it showed us how aligned she was. The first thing she did in the morning, every morning, even to this day is spend time before the Lord. And that was something that we didn't have an option on, and I'm glad I didn't have an option. Well I am glad now... back then I was MAD! (LOL) Throughout middle school and high school she would wake us up at 5/5:30 in the morning for devotions. I would wake up mumbling under my breath mad I had to be up so early. Looking back now I know those prayers and devotions carried me through life. I was able to truly see prayer change things. I am talking about prayer, stoping somebody from dying, or moving situations around in somebody's life. Seeing this taught me at a very young age to learn how to cry out to God in total desperation and trust and believe that he was going to answer and he did. I now have my own platform where I share my passion about gaining a deeper understanding of God through Christ, discovering ( and aiding others in discovering) divine purpose, and cultivating emotional healing and deliverance. My hope is that through my blog #markedlifelog and my podcast #shesmarked will primarily draw women back to the feet of the Savior through becoming aware of the reality of the agenda of the enemy against them, and the powerful love, redemption, and freedom that only Jesus can bring.
I see a lot of her in myself with my own kids. As far as that firmness, strictness and how protective she was of us. Especially her girls, my mom did not play when it came to her girls. She was vicious when it came to us. And I'm the same way, you know, with my girls. If there was one lesson that I could carry on, and I would hope that my girls carry on with their own children is the spiritual structure my mom put in place.
Life often throws us lemons if you had to share one life lesson with your daughter/s what would it be?
Know your identity in Christ, and cleave boldly to it no matter the cost. It will spare you many pitfalls, confusion and regret. Many of the poor decisions I made growing up was really because I didn't know my true identity. Not the one painted for me by society. But the God-given sacred one, given only by the creator. What happened consequently was compromise, peer-pressure, group think, and a handful of "trying on" different identities.
Share a challenging issue you've had to deal with raising your daughter/s. Please share how you overcame it or how you're still working on it.
Well, girls can be catty and bratty! Girls are very expressive and feel deeply. Also, while we love and often harp on us being girls, there are times where the authoritative boundary must be made clear that yes, Mommy is a girl, but mommy is also a woman. You can't do everything I do, nor say everything I say. I continue to work on this by doing my best to be an example to my girls (they watch my moves much more closely than their dads, no pressure, right?) while also being consistent in my role as the authority figure.
Love is an action word. In what ways have you shown your daughter/s she is loved and how she should be loved?
As women, it is critical for us to be heard and feel heard. It's important to me to cultivate an environment in which my daughters feel heard, and that their thoughts, fears, dreams, complaints, etc. matter and are heard. I also use words to build and affirm them. I believe that in doing this, they will become accustomed to this, and ill then associate it with one of the many ways they should be loved and give love.
If you have more than one daughter how do you celebrate their differences and share your time?
I make good use of nap times. That is when my oldest and I can really connect without baby sister. I make it a point to never compare my girls in any way. I also make a big deal out of the way they think or have chosen to do something. This helps to show the other sister that she may not be the only "right" one or her way may not be the only "right" way. We also talk directly about the many differences we have as people and how that is a good thing.
Embracing one's culture and heritage is essential in the transition to womanhood. How have you celebrated your culture/heritage with your daughter/s?
We are Afro-Latina. My girls are often immersed in our culture through the foods they eat and hearing both the English and Spanish languages spoken by their relatives.
Kbeau2ful's Final Thoughts:
Hannah's story teaches us the importance of not only praying for our but teaching them how to pray. There is no greater life lesson. We can share our life's experience and hope our stories will inspire them to make better choices. We can give them warnings of the dangerous of being naive. We can constantly caution them against dangerous situations. But nothing, absolutely nothing, prepares them for the ups and downs of this life more than teaching them how to pray.